WHO KNOWS?

I have experienced many difficulties and hardships in my life and yet despair is a state in which I can rarely remain in for long. This is largely because despair cannot share the same space as wonder and it is wonder that I have had from childhood, and in abundance. Alice Walker

Two major headlines last night, about the same rain, sitting side by side:

LA PREPARES FOR WORST CASE SCENARIO AS RAIN BRINGS RISK OF FLOODS

EXPECTED RAIN WILL BOOST FIREFIGHTING EFFORTS

Both / And. Not only one but also the other. Two things to consider equally. It is rarely either / or. Ugh. Did you know that black and white thinking is a mental disorder? A distortion of a sick, nervous mind? Surprise! I don’t know about you, but everyone I know prefers to pick sides. Seems simpler, somehow, to choose something and stick to it. To investigate can just be so exhausting.

I stepped into the studio to canvas prep first thing. It was still dark outside and silent, aside from the soft sound of the headlining rain. I watched a wet hummingbird through the window while I was making my tea and scribbled something down about it quickly. Right now I’m in bed writing this.

I wonder about the work sometimes. The clearly compulsive need to create and communicate, to story tell and share what I see as soon as I set my feet on the floor. In some ways it seems like a service - we’ve kept a written record of our presence on this planet for five thousand years. It’s all just a time capsule to me. A small drop in a perpetual bucket. There was a girl who lived here at this time on the line and this is what she saw and felt and had to say about it. Publishers might not be interested or present day people - but perhaps a future historian will find these briskly written words up in the cloud some day. Canvas paintings can last for centuries if they're properly cared for and kept in stable conditions. Predicting the lifespan of the internet is an impossible feat. I like to imagine that somehow this simple sentence will outlive me. Who knows?

The rain is noisier now. Like old tap shoes. There’s been lightening spotted down at the shore. Every morning at 4:30 AM my eighty-five year old friend sends me an inspiring text. This morning it read “Sending love to everyone who’s trying their best to heal from the things that they don’t discuss.” What a sweet note to wake up to, what a way to start the day. She is right across town waking up whole and healthy, about to head to the neighborhood gym. Stay on track, friends. Or maybe not. What do I know? Maybe today you need to try something new. Whatever you choose, keep courageous. It is rarely either/or.

WATCHING: ART 21 CHANNEL

READING: CASSANDRA SPEAKS

LISTENING: BEETHOVEN BLUES

GOING: TO HELP

Here we go,

Anne